What home school style and curriculum will work for us?

My inexperienced unsure self wants a hand-holding thing that tells me what to do every day or even has a teacher doing the teaching for me. I am considering this route for several subjects.

The philosophical-loving side of me wants classical stuff, literature, exploration, direction with no specific map.

Like history and literature I could do free style, but science gives me a bit of the heebie-jeebies, and can I just take this special moment to say aloud that doing a nature notebook …. well, I love the romance of this, but I hate the reality of it. I just do. So am I a Charlotte Mason failure? When I was a script writer, it finally dawned on me that the few times I was asked to draw scenes (that I was writing), my blood pressure just went through the roof. I don’t do drawing well. Even thinking about this right now is causing a physical reaction. OK. I’m a nature journal failure. I confess. I will do stickers, cut pictures from magazines, maybe try to press a few leaves or flowers.

And don’t get me started on trying to use english/american nature guides here in Ukraine. Or trying to read the ones they have here in Ukrainian/Russian. Hello. No. This subject is killing me trying to do it the classical way.

… deep breath.

Wow. I’m so glad I got that out into the open. I don’t feel better, but at least I know what I’m dealing with now.

Back to me being a natural with history and literature … oh, hello? why would this be moi? the creative writing, history, english degrees? ??

It’s finally occurred to me to try a mixture of these two styles– some classical approach and some traditional lessons.

Now that idea is making me feel a bit better.

Nice to expand my options for myself.