We were watching videos of the girls from 5 years ago. I’m glad we all have these videos as memories. They were happy and cute. Really, really cute.

I mean, I gave Skyla a birthday party–cookies, cake, frosting, guests. Played on the playgrounds with them. Told them the Christmas story. Opened presents with them. We had tea parties.

I don’t remember the happiness of those days. And I am thinking, it’s very hard to accept myself as not having been the ideal mom I assumed I would be. And I focus a lot on the negative in myself.

So I think it’s a grace moment for myself. To accept that there were happy times, happy things I did. And be thankful for that. Instead of just focusing on what I was doing wrong.